Struggling with Constant Food Thoughts? Here's Why—and What to Do About It
Are you tired of constant thoughts about what, where, when and how much to eat?
Does it seem like unless you’re actively distracted by something, the second you have a moment to think, the thought almost always has something to do with food? Then when it’s finally “time” to eat, you’re stuck and unable to make the decision because what if it’s the wrong thing or it won’t be worth it? What if you’ll feel guilty after. What if, what if, what if…. This is exactly how I used to feel. People who struggle with distress about their bodies and food are often consumed by obsessive food thoughts. Trying so hard to STOP thinking about food and trying to eat ‘clean,’ avoid sugar, fast and employ any manner of self control tactics, because when you just can’t fight the thoughts anymore, you eat the “off limits” foods and feel completely out of control.
In the desperate search for a solution, you find the google search results and the TikToks telling you that you just need to restrict harder. You get lost in the maze of conflicting advice and if you just “optimize” your routine, follow the right What I Eat in a Day Video, throw out all your favorite foods and never keep them in your house you will “hack” your way to wellness and a quiet mind.
The stream of food thoughts is actually trying to tell you something.
The harsh reality is that this obsession with NOT eating might be the very thing that is driving the cycle in the first place. Not only are you second guessing every food decision, but now you might be finding yourself feeling worseabout your body. To get it under control, you find yourself going back to food rules for safety. This lasts only so long before you just can’t keep going and end up binging or overeating. It just doesn’t seem to stop. I get it. I work with people every day who are sick and tired of the food noise, but have no idea what to do about it. In this article, I’ll explain why you might be caught in this cycle and guide you to a way out.
Spoiler alert! It’s not Ozempic. Although we gotta admit, the marketing on this stuff is everywhere!
Here’s a brief synopsis on my experience with food noise:
Back in college, before I realized how messed up my relationship with food was, I was very familiar with the cycle of restricting, counting calories, finding new food rules to keep me in check and total chaos, eating cupcakes, ice cream, and anything I could find before inevitably I’d vow to never eat those foods again and restart tomorrow.
The more I under ate and body checked, the bigger the fears around food grew and I found myself unable to make the “right” decision about food.
If this is you, I see you.
You’re probably asking yourself “what is wrong with me, why can’t I stop thinking about food?” Searching for a reason, is it genetics, lack of willpower, the wrong diet? No, it’s not you.
In order to really understand why this is happening, we need to talk about what happens when we tell ourselves to stop eating foods we like. You might know this as a "diet" or “food restriction.”
What food obsession looks like:
Have you found yourself?
Needing to eat at the “right time”
Thinking about food all the time, even during or right after a meal, planning your next meal or how long you will avoid eating
Struggling to make a decision about what to eat, going back and forth. Ordering, then thinking “maybe I should call over the waitress and ask her to change it?”
Making elaborate plans to avoid going out with friends or telling them you ate before. Then, trying so hard to last until you get home, so you can eat something “safe”
Thinking about food so often, you’ve stopped day dreaming or thinking of much else, it seems like every thought eventually ends with “if I don’t eat now or if I hadn't eaten, then…”
Trying to exercise, even though you hate it, just to feel like you’re allowed to eat
With all the food chatter, it’s hard to imagine that these thoughts can disappear. Although it’s not always an easy process, it’s totally possible. You can learn to trust yourself and let the go of the rules. This might sound scary, but so is staying stuck, feeling controlled by the food/body thoughts.
Why are you overthinking your food decisions?
Instead of asking what’s wrong with us for constantly thinking about food, what if we asked what’s right about it? I know, sounds weird. In a culture that breeds self-doubt, we are great at blaming ourselves. It feels wrong to consider that your brain might actually be trying to help you. What if the constant food thoughts are actually trying to tell you something. You might be thinking, are you SERIOUS?
The voice in my head is the problem and I need to shut it down.
All I think about is food, when should I eat, am I hungry or not? I shouldn’t eat when I’m not hungry. But the chips are right there, shoot, I haven’t had anything today. Maybe just a small bag. No, I shouldn’t. There’s going to be lunch at the office today, maybe I’ll get a small plate. I shouldn’t, maybe next time.
The whole way home, debating if it’s “worth it” to stop at the drive-through.
Do you ever think just how MUCH time you’ve spent having this exact debate in your mind. How many hours of time are spent not making a decision or regretting it? What would your life be like if you hadn’t spent years obsessing over food?
This constant back and forth is exhausting and ridden with all sorts of complex emotions. Shame, guilt, disgust. The promise of another diet or a stricter plan is seductive. For a moment, it offers relief from all this. Let’s be honest, you’ve tried so many times, and it always ends up the same. You, frustrated, blaming yourself for not being able to stick with it. The thoughts still marching full force, maybe even worse this time.
The way out? It’s not going to be through another round of harsh criticism or tips to trick your hunger. Let’s dive into the why and the how:
Restriction is DRIVING the obsession.
It all starts with the disconnect between mind and body. Your brain wants to be in control, fit in with the thin ideal (you've probably seed the rise of SkinnyTok), feel good enough, get the approval of others and your body wants to feel nourished, satisfied, and safe. The constant food thoughts are really messages from your body indicating unmet needs. A need for nutrition.
In your pursuit to STOP thinking about food, you’re actually thinking about food MORE. Because the more you try not think about something, the more you actually think about it. You might know the example of “don’t think about a pink elephant.” Bet you thought about the pink elephant.
So the more you try to restrain yourself from the eating, the more out of control you’ll feel once you do eat.
You’re portably thinking, yeah, if I let myself eat what I want, I’ll never stop. I get it, I was afraid of that too and so were many of the women I work with.
The important thing to know here is a process knowns as “habituation.” Basically, once you give yourself permission to eat and systematically make the food less desirable through exposure the less alluring it will become. Think about the last time you REALLY wanted to buy that dress, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You added it to your cart, then deleted it. You kept telling yourself, it’s not worth it, it costs too much. You don’t NEED it. Then when you finally got it, you found every excuse to wear it. Now it’s just another thing you own, maybe you’re even debating donating it to Goodwill.
Once you have permission, you can let it go. You don’t have to constantly remind yourself to eat or not to eat, because you’re able to trust that you will and that you can make the decisions that are right for you. It sounds simple and it kind of is, it just takes time.
Here is list of shifts to make that will effectively begin to quiet the food noise:
Take the pressure off losing weight and put the energy into developing supportive eating habits
Interpret food thoughts as signals that you’re starting to feel hungry, the only effective solution to hunger is food
Start eating to feel FULL, not just take the edge off hunger
Respond to emotional needs, while food is often used as a way to self-soothe, over-reliance on it sends you down a path of emotional eating
Practice intuitive eating and trust your hunger
Identify cravings and learn what it feels like to be satisfied
Practice mindfulness to quiet the mind and meet your needs
Making these shifts might sound impossible and it’s hard to know where to start. Working with a non-diet registered dietitian and therapist can be the key to reconnecting with your body and quieting the food noise. While countless adds pop up on social media for Ozempic or GLP supplements packaged in trendy bottles, instead of falling prey to the quick “fix” you’ll be well on your way to healing your relationship with food and body for good.
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